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My ex-spouse and I have joint custody but he pawns off the child rearing on his mom. Can I ...?

Whether you can revise the custody arrangement based on how your child spends time when they're with the other parent depends significantly on what's been going on and on the agreement or the court order that you already have in place. If there is what's called the right of first refusal, then you absolutely can use the courts to enforce that. The right of first refusal is basically a requirement that one parent that is unable to care for the child during their timesharing allow the other parent to care for the child so that the child isn't left with a third-party. Depending on whether that exists in the agreement will determine whether or not that modification can be made. But you should definitely have an attorney review the agreement and the situation to see if a change is justifiable in the courts.